Tips for dealing with stress to avoid old habits and maintain goals

Stress is unavoidable, especially now. But with the right tools, you can keep it from wrecking your goals, says Colette DeMonte, staff psychologist for the MultiCare Center for Weight Loss & Wellness.

DeMonte advises identifying tools and plans for dealing with stress ahead of time, so when it pops up, you have healthy strategies in place and don’t fall back into old habits.

Every stress response is different, but there are some common elements, DeMonte says. You might feel stress physically in the form of muscle tension, shortness of breath or an unsettled feeling in your stomach. “That’s a normal reaction when your brain is perceiving something as stressful.”

“We all have a hard-wired stress response called fight or flight,” she explained at a recent virtual weight-loss support group meeting. “It helps us deal with a stressor we either have to fight or we have to run from.”

And though most times our stressors aren’t truly life-threatening, our brains and bodies don’t always realize that,” she said. That’s one benefit of stress and anxiety. “Every time you face something anxiety-provoking you are teaching your brain it is something you can survive.”

Stress can also cause emotional symptoms like anxiety or hopelessness, hamper your problem-solving skills or cause you to do things you wouldn’t otherwise do — like overeat — to help alleviate the stress.

Especially during the pandemic, when people feel stuck at home and dealing with fears about sickness, their jobs or helping children with remote learning, stress is amped up. “We can find ourselves using food as a way to deal with that stress,” DeMonte said.

Anxiety and the sense that you can’t solve your problems can quickly snowball into feelings of hopelessness. “It’s difficult to see different solutions when we’re right in it,” she acknowledged. That’s why it’s important to seek help and counsel from loved ones or a psychologist who can help you clearly think through solutions.

Of course, you can’t control everything. And trying to fix a situation you have no control over is even more stressful, so it’s important to recognize when things are out of your hands. “In situations you don’t have control over it’s not necessarily about finding an answer to change things, but rather, ‘How do I deal with my feelings, so they don’t overpower me?’”

If you’re suffering from mental overload, try breaking your problems into smaller pieces rather than thinking you must solve everything at once.

Once you’ve broken it down, prioritize and start tackling the most urgent things first. Make lists and use planners to set reasonable timetables. And, most importantly, give yourself credit and celebrate with each piece of the problem you solve.

“Declutter,” DeMonte advises. “I don’t mean ‘stuff’, though if we can create a clear space for us where we are physically, it also helps us mentally.” Instead she says to get rid of “negative self-talk” that you can’t solve your problem.

If stress is affecting your emotional well-being, DeMonte says your toolkit should include identifying your triggers. “If I’m in the car and I already feel anxious because I don’t like traffic … what are some things I might be able to do to make myself comfortable?” Deep breathing, being mindful of your surroundings and asking yourself “What do I hear? What do I see?” can help head off anxiety when you’re in an already triggering situation.

When you are feeling anxious, take the time to process your feelings and try to figure out why you are reacting as you are. “Focus on your breathing and think about how you can grow from this,” she advises. “While it may be a challenge, it will help you in dealing with future stressors.”

And though your fight or flight response may be telling you different, “try not to always see the stressor event as the end of the world.”

Sometimes, stress is a sign that you should reexamine your goals, DeMonte says.

“If you are focused on a goal that’s causing stress for you, it may be time to review and look at that goal and how it fits into your personal values,” she advises.

“Let’s say you are really stressed out because you are not feeling motivated to exercise or follow an eating plan,” she said. “What are the long-term effects of that and how does it tie into your personal values?” Thinking about it that way can increase motivation and get you out of the stress spiral.

“Slow it down and remind yourself that you do have the tools,” she said.

And after any type of stressful event, give yourself time to recover. “Think of it like a physical illness. You want to give your body time to heal. It’s the same with your spirit.”