It takes a village: Knowing the signs of child abuse in your community

Content warning: This article covers child abuse and neglect.

Every year in America, more than 600,000 — or one in seven — children are victims of abuse or neglect.

Mandated reporters — law enforcement, doctors or other health care providers, teachers and child care providers — are obligated to report suspected child abuse. But what about neighbors, volunteers, relatives or passersby?

Many children suffer in silence, and the adage “it takes a village” couldn’t be truer today. It takes prepared community members to advocate for children and to know when and how to speak up if something is wrong.

“Like many things in life, we’re all in this together, and if you see something, say something,” says Susan Lamb, MD, board-certified child abuse pediatrician and medical director of Mary Bridge Children’s Child Abuse Intervention Department. “It’s understandable that people are hesitant to report suspected abuse, but there are robust systems in place that thoroughly vet these reports to ensure legitimacy and help to provide the best possible outcome for all parties, but especially for the children.”

Recognizing child abuse and neglect 

Washington State Department of Children, Youth & Families (DCYF) defines child abuse and neglect as injury, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child, but doesn’t include “reasonable and moderate” physical discipline of children.

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), child abuse in all its forms — physical, emotional, sexual and neglect — are adverse childhood experiences that have long-term impacts on children and their health, opportunities and overall well-being.

Signs that may indicate child abuse or neglect is happening include:

• Evidence that basic needs (food, clothing, hygiene) aren’t being met
• Fear or anxiety about doing something wrong or if something is about to go wrong
• Extreme behaviors (compliance, aggressiveness)
• Unattached to parent or caregiver
• Unexplained bruises or welts
• Flinches at movements or physical touch
• Trouble sitting or walking
• Attempts to run away from home
• Wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather
• Frequently late or absent from school or scheduled activities
• Unusual disinterest in previously enjoyable activities like sports, dance or after-school clubs

Getting help for a child with suspected abuse 

If you’re concerned about the safety of a child, you can call DCYF to report your concern to your local Child Protective Services (CPS) community office.

• Pierce and Kitsap counties: 888-713-6115
• Thurston County: 866-764-2233
• King County: 800-609-8764

Reports are assessed according to the definitions of child abuse and neglect. Depending on the situation and severity, an investigation may be opened with CPS, law enforcement and/or Child and Family Welfare Services (CFWS).

Recognizing child abuse and neglect triggers 

Most often, child abuse happens at the hands of those who are close to the victim — parents (biological or foster), relatives or babysitters.

While some perpetrators have a history of abusive behavior or are victims of abuse themselves, others can suddenly become abusive, triggered by circumstances such as:

• Financial challenges
• Excessive time in a shared space
• Elevated personal stress
• Family climate
• Parental substance abuse

Parenting is stressful. If you find yourself losing your temper and resorting to violence with your children, acknowledging that you have a problem and asking for help is the best thing you can do to keep you and your family safe and healthy.

Getting help if you’re at risk for child abuse

You are not alone, and help is available — especially if you or those around you feel at risk for abusive behaviors. HelpGuide.org identifies the following warning signs that child abuse is likely to happen:

• You have uncontrollable anger
• You’re emotionally disconnected from your child
• It seems impossible to meet your child’s daily needs
• People have expressed concerns to you about your child or your parenting

For information about Mary Bridge Children’s Child Abuse Intervention Department and programs, including medical treatment for sexual or physical abuse and assault, call 253-403-1478.

Additionally, Mary Bridge Children’s provides the following resources to promote the health and safety of all children:

• Protecting your children and teaching them to protect themselves
• Children’s Advocacy Center of Pierce County
• Car seat inspections, home safety education, life jacket loan program
• Safety information, from sleep safety to bicycle safety
• WIC nutrition services