Pride Month: How to be a meaningful LGBTQ+ ally

Pride Month is in full swing — there are multiple events taking place throughout June to celebrate LGBTQ+ communities, but this month is about much more than parades and festivities. Pride Month has its roots in activism.

One June night in 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in Greenwich Village, New York. Raids of this type were common at the time, and rather than face yet another instance of unjust arrest and harassment, patrons fought back in a riot that lasted for six nights, an event that became known as the Stonewall Uprising. A year later, activists organized the first Pride March in New York City to commemorate Stonewall, leading to the joyous events that occur every June all over the world today.

More than 50 years later, there is still work to be done to foster equality and support the health and well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals. Allies have an important role to play in advancing these efforts.

Sarah Dryfoos-Guss, program manager for health equity strategy at the MultiCare Center for Health Equity and Wellness and Joseph Angel, MD, a family medicine physician at MultiCare who focuses on LGBTQ+ health, talk with us about how to be a meaningful ally.

What does it mean to be an ally and why is it important?

Dr. Angel: Allies are aware of the difficulties, stigmas and oppression that LGBTQ+ people face on a day-to-day to basis, but it doesn’t stop with awareness. Allyship is less a label than an action — allies make a conscious effort to help everyone achieve full equity and justice regardless of their identity.

Dryfoos-Guss: Over the past couple of years, there’s actually been a shift in the conversation away from just being an ally toward being an accomplice. While allies believe in the principles of equality and support LGBTQ+ people in their hearts, they may not always follow through with action. Being an accomplice is all about action — fighting for human rights, standing up for one another and taking steps to dismantle systems of oppression.

What qualities make someone a good accomplice or ally?

Dr. Angel: There’s really nothing magical about being an ally. It starts with treating people with respect, being open to learning and taking responsibility for that education — not relying on LGBTQ+ people to provide it. A sense of humility is important. You’re going to mess up sometimes, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. It’s important to confront your own prejudices and unconscious biases and hopefully learn from them. When you do make a mistake, apologize, ask for guidance if needed, make a sincere effort to do better and move on.

Dryfoos-Guss: A good ally has the ability to deeply listen and empathize, even though they may not fully understand what another person is going through.

What is performative allyship and why is it a problem?

Dr. Angel: Performative allyship is going through the motions — doing those surface things like wearing a rainbow-colored shirt or putting up an equality yard sign but then doing nothing else to actively support the cause. It’s a problem because these gestures can sometimes make people think their work is done, meanwhile injustice continues to spread, and nothing actually gets better.

What are some meaningful actions that LGBTQ+ allies or accomplices can take?

Dr. Angel: Take the time to confront your own unconscious biases — we all have them — and then do the work to overcome them. When you hear friends, family members or co-workers say negative or hurtful things about LGBTQ+ people, don’t stay silent. Be willing to have what may be an uncomfortable conversation — kindly correct and educate.

Also, language is important. Everybody wants to be recognized for who they are. If someone tells you their pronouns, use them. And if you are unsure, it’s okay to ask.

Dryfoos-Guss: It’s important to be an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, to both protect the rights we currently have and work to expand them because they still aren’t equal. For example, marriage equality is not fully realized in this country — many LGBTQ+ people who are disabled are still not able to get married because they would likely lose their disability benefits. Being an advocate can mean volunteering with local LGBTQ+ organizations and taking the time to learn about political candidates’ stances on LGBTQ+ polices.

Another action people can take is reaching out to companies and organizations that they respect and encouraging them to be genuine about supporting LGBTQ+ people. During Pride Month there tends to be a lot of rainbow-washing — where companies maybe sponsor a float in a parade and claim to support LGBTQ+ communities but then turn around and financially contribute to political candidates who are actively fighting against equality.

And lastly, take the time to get to know LGBTQ+ people. They are not a monolith; there’s so much beautiful diversity within the group.

What is MultiCare doing to be a better ally to LGBTQ+ patients?

Dryfoos-Guss: Over the past couple of years, the MultiCare Center for Health Equity and Wellness has been collaborating with the Rainbow Center, the Fenway Institute and the Pierce County AIDS Foundation among other groups to create an LGBTQ+ affirming provider directory.

It’s a web-based tool that patients and community members can use to search for providers at MultiCare who are validated in providing LGBTQ+ care and services. To be included in the directory, providers have to meet certain criteria, such as having lived experience as an LGBTQ+ individual or completing medical training in a particular LGBTQ+ area. We expect to launch the directory soon — it’s really exciting to be able to offer this to patients.

You can also check out our rankings on the Healthcare Equality Index, a project of the Human Rights Campaign, which evaluates hospitals on LGBTQ+ inclusivity. In 2022, MultiCare hospitals have been recognized as top performers and equality leaders. While it doesn’t mean our work as an organization is done, it does highlight our commitment to providing inclusive, patient-centered care.

Learn more about MultiCare’s commitment to LGBTQ+ affirming care.